There is a saying my grandma used to tell me all the time. “Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres”. It roughly translates to: Tell me who you hang out with and I will tell you who you are. It’s kind of like a modification of “you are what you eat”.
What she meant to say is that if you surround yourself with negative influences, you will also become a negative influence and will end up doing negative things.
We can always say that if you have the right amount of self-control you won’t fall in bad habits even if your friends do. But that’s not what I want to talk about today.
One of our goals here at Enso Journey is to help people become a better version of themselves. We want people to work towards a better life while doing what makes them happy. So I want to give you a little trick that can make the process a whole lot easier.
Here is the secret:
Surround yourself with people who have the same goals in life as yours.
I say this because I’ve gone through it. For the longest time, I wanted to keep my old friends. At one point our paths were the same, but eventually things changed and our paths took different directions. I wanted to make something with my life, and my old friends wanted to have fun and ignore the future that was ahead. They wanted to stay children, I wanted to grow up.
I later realized that those friends were keeping me behind. As much as I claimed they were not, the truth was that I was not the best person I could be.
So let me ask you,
Are you surrounded by good influences? Do your friends help you become a better you?
When we associate with people that are working towards the same goal, we are more likely to achieve those goals. Why? Because nobody wants to get left behind, and keeping a friendly competition is a good way to keep you motivated.
Here is another trick:
Stay close to people who are what you hope to be.
If you want to be a good person, surround yourself with good people. It sounds like common sense, but every day I surprise myself when I hear people say they wish for something yet they live their lives in a contradiction.
Long ago, I heard someone tell me a story about some fictional character who would ask God to help him win the lottery. Every day he would pray, but he never went and actually purchased a lottery ticket.
How can you wish for something and not take any action? The only way to make your wishes come true is to actually work towards them. And how can you find the right path to take? By following the path that others have left for you.
Although it is hard to find people who are motivated and want to do something with their life, it is now easier than before. The internet has opened possibilities that were unimaginable at some point. Take advantage of it.
So how can you find people like you? How can you surround yourself with people that will inspire you to work towards your dreams?
There are many ways, but let me give you just a few.
- Take a class. – Although it is possible that you will find someone who wants to do the same things you do at a bar or club, it is more likely that you will if you take a class. I have recently met some great artists who may become good friends, and no, I did not meet them at the bar, I met them in my art class. If you are trying to get better at something, look for places that offer classes in that area, and get to know the people that are there. You can even look at online classes or webinars, Alex is a guru in that area, don’t hesitate to ask him!
- Find out where these people gather. – Writers hang out at cafés, athletes at the gym, and intellectuals at the library. Even if you don’t make a new friend, just by surrounding yourself with people that think alike you are more likely to find some inspiration. People gravitate towards certain areas for certain reasons. Once you know where you belong things will make more sense and you will begin to move towards you big goals.
- Join a club. – If you are antisocial and have trouble approaching new people, find an organization that fits with your values and join it. When you join a club you are officially saying “I belong here, I fit here”, having a sense of belonging is important and will help you have a clearly define your identity. If you want to work towards being a better person for your community, join a club that volunteers to help others. You will meet people like you with goals like yours.
- Search the web. – For those of us with little time for extra things, there is always the internet. There are communities for everything you can imagine. A quick search will lead you in the right direction, and the best thing is that you will meet people from all over the globe. Search for people who are out there walking the path you want to walk, learn from them, and make a connection.
Whatever you do, don’t feel like you are alone, because you are not. There are 7 billion people in this world, and every day more and more people have access to you. They say that it is better to be alone than in bad company, but today you don’t have to be alone anymore.
It would be great if all of our friends moved in the same direction as our own. It would be great if each one of our family members understood and supported your decisions. But the reality is that everyone is different. When you choose to create a network of people who will help you grow instead of hold you back, you will be able to achieve what you want without much conflict.
Keep your mind and your heart open, but don’t allow anyone to keep you behind. If you can’t inspire your friends to work towards a greater future, remember that there are always people who are already in that path. You just have to go out and look for them.