Love is a gift and it must be given freely without conditions.
It took me a long time to understand the true meaning of those words. You see, there is a big problem in our modern society, it’s about owning.
We own houses, cars, books and a whole array of different objects. In this “I own” society, there’s one issue that runs very deep: people owning people.
Jealousy is all around us, why? Because we think we own the loved person.
This is something that has truly bothered me, and it’s one of the reasons why I remained alone for a long time. I don’t like to be owned or own other people.
And as I trained to become a warrior, I understood one thing about love: Love is a gift.
The issue with owning
We’re used to say things like “My girlfriend”, “My boyfriend”, “My date”, “My husband”, “My wife” and so on. This is usually to depict the strength of the relationship with another person. Seems harmless enough, right?
But once you repeat something enough times, you stop asking questions and it becomes a “truth”. At some point the important part stops being “girlfriend” and starts becoming “My”. The relationship stops being what it was and jealousy starts to show up. Why? Because nobody likes when someone takes what they own.
Does this sound disturbing?
Yes, because it sounds more like Gollum from The Lord of The Rings than a real love story.
There is something I felt, and that’s why this post about love was so hard to write. I felt most of people doesn’t understand how to love (In the past, I was among them).
As a fellow warrior, love must live in your heart at all times, it’s what gives you real strength and makes us look as invincible to the rest of the world.
So how can you stop “owning” and start loving?
You’ll find love deep within you first
Last year, I asked for your help to save the world (we’re still here so it worked!). It was a lovely article with a mirror exercise, very simple. But the idea was to address your inner voice and the love you feel for yourself.
To be able to give the gift of love freely, you must first journey deep within yourself. To that core place where you find all your virtues, flaws, your background, your opinions, everything you really are. No masks allowed in that place.
There, you’ll do just one simple thing: Admire, as if you were in a gallery, how beautiful you are. You’ll notice some of your achievements, that epic win you snatched out of a terrible situation, even that one time that everything looked plain wrong but now it’s even kind of funny.
Within those imaginary walls you’ll find one treasure called self-love. Really different from the ego, as this love doesn’t judge you, it accepts you with everything you are. It’s simply beautiful.
That, my fellow warrior, contains all the power you need to be among the Hall of Warriors here in Enso Journey. Because when you do anything (even washing the dishes) from that point of view, you’re sharing your real gifts with the world.
You don’t have to own anything at all, because what you’re doing happens only in the present, where love is the most beautiful gift of all. And as a gift, you don’t hope for anything in return.
Once you experience this, you’re ready to share the gift with the world.
Loving without Terms of Service
Love in our modern society looks more and more as one of those Terms Of Service documents: “You are allowed to do this and that, go out with these friends but not those friends” and, so on, so forth. Horrible.
But if you started your journey as I said above, you’ll find that just as you did it with your own inner gallery, other people have their own.
For example: Yes, the lovely girl I’m sharing my journey with may have her own gallery with a lot of events. She may have different points of views and like different things than me, but that doesn’t really matter, because I accept her the way she is.
It’s not about changing her either, because once you start looking without judging, things just make perfect sense. You start looking at the person as she really is (which in my case is particularly wonderful).
Since you don’t want to change and you don’t want to judge, the other person is free to be who she is.
The gift of love
And just in this moment, you start remembering that you don’t have time. You have a limited existence in this world and thinking about judging and all the owning seems like a real waste of time.
You’re right, it is a waste of time. That’s why you start giving your love to others freely, without hoping for them to change or even loving you back. Why? Because you don’t have time to test people. You either love them or don’t, there’s no time to analyze anything.
This approach will make you free, and will give you truly beautiful relationships (be it to form a family, to become friends or to do business).
Because when you start anything from love, it’ll turn out the way it should be. You won’t speak ill or make an elaborate Terms of Service, no contracts or anything will be needed. Not even witnesses.
Your love will be true, because it needs nothing.
A true warrior understand this, and seeks only to love freely. This real love will power every one of your actions leading you to success. This is the heart of the warrior. It’s not magic, but the closest thing to it.