Why saying “I can’t change” makes you look dumb

Nothing endures but change. —Heraclitus

You have heard me talk about changing your bad habits in this blog. You already may share my opinion about change, and how it is the only constant in this world. But somehow, one of the things I hear the most all around me goes against this very idea. I hear this one all the time: “I can’t change”.

I know changing our bad habits is truly hard. But do you really believe that you are allowed to say that you can’t change them?

can't change dumb cat

It may be funny, but the reality is that each time you say you can't change, you are just fooling yourself. Photo by Albert James.

Do you believe you are above everything?

I truly ask you, are you above everything? Are you so permanent and constant that change can’t even touch you? I truly believe that there is not even one ego, so big, in this world that can claim victory over change. Nobody can declare themselves to be above and beyond every power. You are not like this. You are a warrior, and as such you understand that claiming you can’t change is just part of your ego and all the fear inside you.

You are not dumb, so why would you allow your ego and all the fears inside you to take over your life? Why would you allow it to take away your freedom? Why would you be a victim?

Anyone that claims that changing one bad habit or negative thought is impossible is just downplaying his own power. It’s the mark of a dumb man to believe that he can’t do anything to help this world. It’s just plain dumb to believe that you can’t change.

It’s imposing yourself a limit. It’s building a wall between you and who you want to be.

Speak the truth

I want you to stop looking dumb each time you say you can’t change. Why don’t you speak the truth?

Each time someone says that he can’t change, he is hiding a simple truth behind his words, he just doesn’t want to change, he doesn’t want to make the effort. He is being lazy.

When you recognize this simple truth it becomes clear that it’s not impossible to change, but that you are just trying to justify yourself. Stop doing this, it’s just a bad habit.

Re-learning to change

One of the universal truths in Buddhism is that everything changes. It all flows like a river, sometimes it’s gentle, sometimes it’s swift. Life obeys this rule, the problem lies in ourselves. We are the ones that become stagnant over time.

When you were a kid, you were discovering the whole world. Around every corner there was a little bit of excitement and everything was a surprise. It was fabulous, there was something to learn around each and every corner. What happened when you grew up?

Now, it seems like every change is a reason to be upset. Don’t worry, that’s the way that society has pushed us all. And somehow those who embrace change and uncertainty are renowned as heroes. We admire people like Leo Babauta, Nina Yau or Colin Wright. They embraced change and adapted. They are ahead of the curve.

You can do the same, you can travel the world, have a job that you love and live the life you deserve. Unfortunately there is a catch. You can’t do that just by reading, you need to start doing. You need to re-learn how to change.

You used to do it when you were a kid. you learned something new and tried to use it. It’s time you start walking that path again. Take a minute to find one habit that you think you just can’t change. Find one simple action you can take right now to change. For example, if you want to exercise more, stop reading right now and do 5 jumps or 2 push-ups, then come back.

How did you feel? If it was difficult, you achieved a wonderful victory, value the momentum and use it to move forward. If it was easy, now you see how easy is to just take action and start changing.

Do not tell me that you didn’t take the simple action, because that means you need to go back up and read this post again.

Embrace your power

Inside of you, deep beyond the place where the words “can’t change” grow, you will be able to find the strength to change your life and be worthy of every dream you ever had.

You can train each day taking one simple action towards your dream. Just the same way I work each day on this blog, be it writing or coding.

Write your dream down, it can be on a file or using pen and paper. Now just make a commitment to yourself to work everyday, it doesn’t matter if it’s 5 minutes or 10 hours straight. From today, you will start taking an action that moves you closer to it.

You feel you can’t change because you think you need to take big actions. There are no big actions, only small actions that put together, they form one big change. Your power does not lie on big actions, it lies on making those small actions happen.

Your commitment starts now

Do not wait, someday will never come. You only have the present and only in the present you can overcome those horrible words. You will never say you can’t change, you will embrace your dreams and work towards them.

Show your commitment in the comments and share this post to anyone who needs it. One small action can help us save the world.

I sense a strong warrior In you!

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About

Alex Reyes (@EnsoJourney) is the co-founder of Enso Journey. He is a geek seeking to turn himself into a modern warrior. You can train with him by liking Enso Journey's Facebook Page or joining the Enso Journey Warrior Dojo for FREE.

Comments

  1. The real irony is that these people claiming they can’t change had to change to become the way they are now. They didn’t always have these bad habits. They weren’t always in the rut they’re in. At one point, they were vibrant young people who believed in their dreams and thought they could accomplish anything. It requires change to resign yourself to a lesser life.
    Bryan Weller recently posted..7 Tips to Boost Confidence and Succeed

    • Hi Bryan, welcome to Enso Journey.
      I agree with you. that’s why I am truly puzzled about those little words. Change is something that happens at every minute, the sooner we embrace it the sooner we can regain our full power.
      I believe you do understand that mindful change is one of the best ways to move your life forward.
      Thank you for your comment Bryan.
      Alejandro Reyes recently posted..5 simple tips to deal with the apathy around you

  2. You’re right, it really does make people look dumb. And the truth is “can’t” really means “don’t want to.”

    I’m also amazed how unwilling people are to change some habit or ideal despite how dire the consequences are. People will choose a dysfunctional habit over their health or close relationships.

  3. Hahaha, you always have the best cat pictures!

    Oh and also, YES, we CAN change!

  4. Great post. You had me at the cat picture as well :)
    Lorilee recently posted..Comment on Contact Me by Simple Compassion Opening Up | Loving Simple Living

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